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| Dress - Vintage | Pumps - Fergie Footwear | Accessories - My Own |
“Can I be 100% honest with you,” said the baritone voice
coming through my iPhone. “Sure,”
I said, gleefully! “I don’t like the name of your Blog. I don’t like girls who refer to themselves
as Bougie! Chances are, they’re not Bougie at all.” Something went through
me. I took it personal, and if it
was going to take all day for him to understand where I was coming from, that’s
exactly what I was willing to do.
After deciding to open up by delving into the origin of the relevancy of
this word and myself, he quickly understood.
I couldn’t help but wonder how many others were feeling like
him? And who possibly wouldn’t give the blog a chance because of the “B” word?
Well, I’m taking the time now to explain it in hopes that you too will have a
better understanding of where I’m coming from.
It all started when I was 11 years old. I was in the country for the summer and
my cousin with her nose turned up and somewhat of a frown on her face, told me
that her grandmother (my great-aunt) called me “Bougie!” Bougie? Never heard of it, but I figured it wasn’t intended as a
compliment. Later on, during middle
school and high school, a relatively quiet, average student, who pretty much
stayed to herself, was faced with that same word. I was reminded of that moment in the country, by the same
looks on their faces. It was
familiar and I was for certain, it wasn’t a French term for, “I like your
outfit!”
I came up in a family who believed in hard
work, and providing for each other.
For as long as I can remember, I enjoyed having nice things. And I was no stranger to asking my
parents, grandparents, aunts and uncle for it. Isn’t that what they are there
for? I liked this type of sneaker,
so I asked for it; this type of handbag; got it, too; wanted to eat at this
restaurant; ate there and loved it, and I had to visit Mickey Mouse; so we went
a few times. When I shared my excitement about summer vacation or birthday gifts with my so-called friends at school, I realized the problem was
never me, it was my experiences that bothered some.
I was deemed Bougie because of my preferences. The fact that I never was mean to
people, would trade handbags with a person in a second just to show you it was never
about the bag (Although I got in so much trouble by my parents for letting a
classmate tote my Louis Vuitton, and then was scared to ask for it back,
because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings…she stopped talking to me.), freely
giving, supporter, and genuinely nice.
None of that mattered. It
was my conversation that was not received well at all.
As an adolescent, school years were
difficult for me. I was teased, so I dimmed my light. I
didn’t want to be the subject of negative attention, and I certainly wasn't telling you what I got for Christmas! Staying out of any type of
limelight made sense, so I didn’t do extracurricular (I wanted to be a
cheerleader so bad, and still do!).
I learned how to stay to myself, and not really get close to people (I just did not want to judged). And somehow that became a problem. “She thinks she is all of that or she
thinks she is better than people! You think you dress better than people?” Not once have I ever thought this or
uttered those words.
Then there was college, and Bougie was waiting on me when I
got there, but I already knew why people felt this way. By now I wasn’t
new to the attack, but what was new, I was ready to attack back. So, let’s get this straight: I, then, was
labeled Bougie because of my likes and preferences, and better yet, my
upbringing and my experiences? So I decided that I would snatch their negative
word – since they didn’t know what to do with it - and fill it with
honey. A person who thinks they
are better than other people are mean.
Someone who has that “you can’t sit with us” mentality are also not
Bougie, but repulsive. Bougie is
doing something in a particular and even meticulous way, that some may deem
intimidating.
Contrary to popular
belief, Bougie girls will dance with you in the club (especially if Beyonce is
playing), wear a dress from Forever and let the world know (although we did
pair it with something high-end..love high to low fashion), post up at the
sports bar and eat BBQ chicken wings with our fingers and mouth sticky (we will
have tons of wet naps, though, and ask you, “is my lipstick still on?”), while
yelling for our favorite team.
We’re cool, relatable, and a joy to be around! And this blog will be
that too...you just have to give us a chance! There’s nothing stiff about my personality, no Ice Princess here, and my
style will show you that! This Blog has purpose, and I am putting a stop to
those people who think they can discredit good people and take things out of context, by labeling us mean
things.
And for all of those “why do you; you think you” and so on? Those are your insecurities speaking, and we
hear them loud and clear. #TeamBougie
All photos were taken by Torey Searcy of Torey Searcy Photography
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